[ Fitz leans forward, ignoring the way his rib smarts with the movement. It's quite the question to ask of someone, even a man as articulate as Markus. He doesn't know what he expected, in truth, when he asked it. As always, he's of two minds: tell me it was because you needed to and tell me it was because you wanted to.
So he holds Markus' gaze. Too still, too sharp. It's more than he anticipated (of course it is, when Markus gives whatever others ask of him and then some). Some of the tension eases from his shoulders, disarmed by the nuanced reasoning for his faith in Fitz's capabilities — and character. He knows that Jemma would say that, too. That she's been saying it the whole damn time, even when he couldn't hear her. ]
I believe you. [ well. ] Sometimes, I mean. [ his hands twist, like he might be able to iron out the rigidity there with a firm touch. ] Sometimes, I believe that. [ that he's the person who joined SHIELD to help people with his mind, even if he wasn't quite brave enough for all the rest. A little shake of his head. ] But I think I'm not always — that person. [ his brow creases, features lined with worry. ] And I don't really know when I'm not anymore.
[ because as much as he thinks in terms of machines, he's human, and you can't delete the parts of yourself that don't fit with who you thought you were. you have to deal with them. ]
Sorry, that's a bit — [ a noncommittal noise, paired with a look aside, so he can start patching over the vulnerability again. ] I'll figure it out. [ his fingers catch the edge of Markus' sheets, something to busy himself with. ] What you said, really, it means a lot to me. Your friendship means. A lot. [ it's babble, overflowing from the well of emotion that Markus regularly finds a way to tap, but it's sincere all the same. ] Really glad you, uh, made it back. That most of you made it back.
no subject
So he holds Markus' gaze. Too still, too sharp. It's more than he anticipated (of course it is, when Markus gives whatever others ask of him and then some). Some of the tension eases from his shoulders, disarmed by the nuanced reasoning for his faith in Fitz's capabilities — and character. He knows that Jemma would say that, too. That she's been saying it the whole damn time, even when he couldn't hear her. ]
I believe you. [ well. ] Sometimes, I mean. [ his hands twist, like he might be able to iron out the rigidity there with a firm touch. ] Sometimes, I believe that. [ that he's the person who joined SHIELD to help people with his mind, even if he wasn't quite brave enough for all the rest. A little shake of his head. ] But I think I'm not always — that person. [ his brow creases, features lined with worry. ] And I don't really know when I'm not anymore.
[ because as much as he thinks in terms of machines, he's human, and you can't delete the parts of yourself that don't fit with who you thought you were. you have to deal with them. ]
Sorry, that's a bit — [ a noncommittal noise, paired with a look aside, so he can start patching over the vulnerability again. ] I'll figure it out. [ his fingers catch the edge of Markus' sheets, something to busy himself with. ] What you said, really, it means a lot to me. Your friendship means. A lot. [ it's babble, overflowing from the well of emotion that Markus regularly finds a way to tap, but it's sincere all the same. ] Really glad you, uh, made it back. That most of you made it back.
[ besides the chunk lost to a bullet wheezes. ]