[ The hands at his side move to his hips, bracing, as he hangs his head, like he can't face Markus this close, correcting and offering in equal measure. Potential, circumstance, programming, was scrawled across his file. It's what every one of his friends said the second they were back together. You may be that man — but you're also this one. As ever, Markus articulates his point in a way that translates for Fitz, outlines their similarities and unwittingly pinpoints the figure looming in Fitz’s life in the Framework, the one change beyond Ophelia, his father. Objectively, he can recognise the ripple effects of that, alongside his unhealthy relationship, as key factors for altering the timeline and psyche of the person stood in the midst of it.
He bites back the instinctive and self-destructive retort: It’s not potential for me. It's already in there, spreading like rot. Because if he gives in to that, he rejects Markus’ sound argument and allows for the possibility that he’ll lose his mind before he makes it back to Jemma, too. ]
Okay. [ A choked utterance, issued toward his feet. Acquiescence buys him time to offer something solid, more like the scientist he is at his best. ] I’m sorry. You’re not just what I — you know who you are.
[ And he doesn't need Fitz to tell him or idealise him as a point of contrast, or to ask him to prove himself as lesser (crueller) if he's to claim some understanding. Markus is cleverer than all that and not without complexity, besides. The bit about Carl is new information, shading in the person before him. ]
And I know you’re… well, you're what saying is... it's right. Logically, it's all right there. [ He lifts a hand again, only this time it’s obvious that the gesture is him grasping at words, unable to pluck the right ones for the moment. Finally, Fitz looks up, expression open and unguarded. ] I just can’t — I’m not there yet, [ a rolling, twisting gesture. ] too stuck in my head.
[ Particularly without a steady presence at his side to guide him, Fitz gets lost. In his head, in his heart. Twisted and turned around until the only way back to the start is labyrinthine and convoluted, but Bobbi already asked him to choose where he aims to end up. "What do you want Fitz?" I want Jemma and SHIELD and all of you. And the people who matter to him here already, like Markus and Connor. Only wanting it all isn't enough. His choices and words have to stay the course.
Yet, he says, because he'll get there — or die trying. ]
no subject
He bites back the instinctive and self-destructive retort: It’s not potential for me. It's already in there, spreading like rot. Because if he gives in to that, he rejects Markus’ sound argument and allows for the possibility that he’ll lose his mind before he makes it back to Jemma, too. ]
Okay. [ A choked utterance, issued toward his feet. Acquiescence buys him time to offer something solid, more like the scientist he is at his best. ] I’m sorry. You’re not just what I — you know who you are.
[ And he doesn't need Fitz to tell him or idealise him as a point of contrast, or to ask him to prove himself as lesser (crueller) if he's to claim some understanding. Markus is cleverer than all that and not without complexity, besides. The bit about Carl is new information, shading in the person before him. ]
And I know you’re… well, you're what saying is... it's right. Logically, it's all right there. [ He lifts a hand again, only this time it’s obvious that the gesture is him grasping at words, unable to pluck the right ones for the moment. Finally, Fitz looks up, expression open and unguarded. ] I just can’t — I’m not there yet, [ a rolling, twisting gesture. ] too stuck in my head.
[ Particularly without a steady presence at his side to guide him, Fitz gets lost. In his head, in his heart. Twisted and turned around until the only way back to the start is labyrinthine and convoluted, but Bobbi already asked him to choose where he aims to end up. "What do you want Fitz?" I want Jemma and SHIELD and all of you. And the people who matter to him here already, like Markus and Connor. Only wanting it all isn't enough. His choices and words have to stay the course.
Yet, he says, because he'll get there — or die trying. ]