retravel: (Default)
oh, fitz. ([personal profile] retravel) wrote2018-07-31 06:14 pm

INBOX






@leo.fitz| ■ ▲ ◌ ▼





saviorexe: (26)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-15 04:48 pm (UTC)(link)
That’s right.

[That is, in fact, a little misleading. Connor hovers, while Markus feels crushing responsibility for him. It’s a two-way street of different types of fussing.]

But you’re right about that, too; once a friend, it’s a permanent position. I guess I don’t have to introduce you at all.
saviorexe: (91)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-16 04:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[A bit of trouble. He remembers that first meeting, a snide remark regarding what he was — On a scale of, like, one-to-ten, how much do you want to murder the entire human race?  — that has his brow cinching at the recollection, the tension at the time so utterly tangible.

A slight delay, a few seconds of consideration. Thinking.]


Why would she have trouble?
saviorexe: (48)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-16 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)
[It was pretty frank. And with the connection between shared worlds forming, Markus’ next question decidedly lacks any delay at all.]

How unfortunate?

She asked how eager I was to murder the entire human race, for reference.
saviorexe: (65)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-17 06:51 am (UTC)(link)
[After their talk of Ophelia, that day they walked under the dappled light of the sky park, Markus had been grateful to gain what information he could from Fitz. There was a faraway solidarity to be had in discussion about AI sentience, and how it might adjust to the newness of a human body. It ran parallel, he thought, to his own circumstances. And that was comforting at the time.

Now, he’s realizing how much context he might have actually lacked. How there might have been great holes of omission that he was oblivious to, strolling right past them in a haze of ignorance.]


When we spoke before, you mentioned an inability to deviate from core tenants without outside assistance. Are you choosing to shoulder the blame as a result?

[That being said, a far more important follow up—]

What actually happened?
saviorexe: (50)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-17 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[Two instances, two entirely differently results. But the second is confirmation of Ophelia acting of her own accord — sentience, and something hard to take the blame for if she possessed her own free will.

But he’s still missing context. Fitz didn’t exactly answer the question of “what happened”.

Markus is tired, sore, and mentally wrung through. But he wants to know.]


Where?
saviorexe: (91)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-17 08:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm heading over now.

[And there's really not much more to be said than that. Markus wills his body to move with its usual expediency (that comes with a little more difficulty given how sore he still feels after Hell Day), and true to his word, he makes his way to the sky park.

It's the same bench he'll be found seated upon whenever Fitz arrives, looking about as well as the last time they saw each other -- like he's been in a fight, bruises along his jawline starting to change color. At least the swelling around his lip has gone down.]
saviorexe: (59)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-17 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[Fitz looks worse for wear.

Funny, how despite the discomfort that their burgeoning conversation promises, the first thing that flits across Markus’ tired face is concern. Tired concern that's tainted with the shadow of a difficult discussion to come, granted — but never does he want to see the other man in such a state. Bandages around the hand and the neck, bruises adorning his arm.

Markus swallows, straightening. He wears a plain maroon t-shirt and dark jeans, and even the latter might be proving too warm for this weather.]


...Her knee-jerk impression of me wasn’t a kind one, but we left it as a misunderstanding. Still, it’s hard to forget her exact words when the implication of murder is so clear.

[That being said, he moves to stand. They can walk, just like last time, along the same path — with unfortunate experiences under their belts that they couldn’t hope to have guessed at before.]

What happened to you after we split up?

[Where did you get all those injuries, Fitz. This is the first question he’ll ask.]
saviorexe: (66)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-18 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
[CAN’T, DON’T KNOW HOW

The sun is harsher than the last time they were here, walking at a slower pace down the same gently curving path. Markus hooks a thumb into a pocket as they walk, a misleadingly casual gesture that doesn’t reflect at all how he feels — but this android, forever cognizant of the perception of others, doesn’t allow himself to fidget, or for anxiety to twist itself up on his features. Only a straight back, a steady gait, and a tone of voice that’s adopted something even, stern, but still allowing for worry.

Bar fight. Hostage situation. And a conflict with a friend over heated difference of opinion (over what they were here to talk about, at that).

The latter sounds painfully familiar.]


I’m sorry to hear it, and I hope that you do manage to... heal the relationship between the two of you.

[Ah, the question is reflected in turn, and Markus’ jaw tightens.]

To begin with? A fight with Connor. Over points of contention regarding the situation between ourselves back home. You can blame the sickness for that.

[Vague? Maybe. But he feels justified in allowing it for himself, if just for now.]

Afterwards, my mood was less than flattering. It didn’t take much for me to find myself in other altercations without much provocation.
saviorexe: (67)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-18 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
[He turns his head slightly to meet Fitz’s attention, blue and green eyes sharp with focus.]

Not at all, no, and not how I’d ever want to be again.

[He’s dealt with mending what had threatened to be broken between the two of them. An understanding that who they were that day is never who they want to be, even if the potential existed. Yet it doesn’t make the memory of it easier. Doesn’t keep the guilt perpetually asleep, sometimes rising up and still raking its claws across the interior of his ribs.]

The worst of us, coming to the surface. Anger, violence, a lack of self-control to keep it all mitigated. Having felt wronged.

[For a moment, only the sound of concurrent footsteps down the trail.]

...which made me feel justified in hurting others. But that’s not what we came here to talk about.
saviorexe: (28)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-18 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[confess your sins to robojesus, he's ready to hear them

But the demeanor he's adopted is of a purposeful sort. It counteracts Fitz's nervous energy, meant to offer calm and the space to give the other man to think, to speak. Yet his words are firm, ushering the man to continue, in that strange push-and-pull, of slight overawe-and-openness that is so very distinctive of someone drenched in expected leadership.]


Before you tell me what they are, let me ask you something — what made you decide to hem away certain parts of the truth? Did you think I’d take badly to it, being what I am?

[Not wrong, but maybe not in the way that Fitz might've assumed. He wonders.]
saviorexe: (16)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-18 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)
[He was too nice.

Conflicting emotions well up at that. Gratitude, really, and difficulties blaming Fitz for wanting to treat it like the fragile subject it was. It tugs his mouth into a frown, pressing his gaze forward as they come across the same little wooden bridge from before. But Markus never wants to live obliviously; never wants to be sheltered from the truth of any situation, no matter how harsh or difficult to process it might be. This makes him feel indignant, led astray by censored information, and the two sides meld with each other to create something frustratingly complicated.

He thinks on how to reply, and while they don’t stop at the bridge this time, a single hand comes out to glide along the railing as they walk.]


I can’t blame you for that. And maybe it’s my own fault for leading you to believe that I would’ve taken it badly. What I told you about my past isn’t the whole of who I am, or what I’m trying to… do for my kind. [Maybe there’s been two instances of withholding information. Markus, in his caution, only illuminating pieces of himself at a time — different than Connor, in that way.]

When it comes to AI life interacting with humanity, whether for good or ill, I want to know the consequences of it. It’s relevant to me. I don't care if the experiences themselves originate from another world altogether.

[He exhales, feeling exhausted across each nerve ending, but keeping his shoulders aligned.]

So, please. Tell me exactly what happened, and let me choose how to feel about it.
saviorexe: (23)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-19 03:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[A sweltering breeze makes overhead branches shudder as they walk. Markus listens without interrupting, taking every word that Fitz grants him, every detail that he hadn’t known until this very moment. Background forming itself around Fitz’s recollection of events, able to provide him with growing context where he had none before.

AIDA’s means of creation — or rather, the reasoning behind her activation — makes his insides jar in their grooves, makes something twist up with distaste. AI life, androids, to be used as tools; for their purpose to be dictated to them upon activation, and to be a means of tireless frontline combat because humans wouldn’t take the risk to life and limb themselves. Markus cannot hope to comprehend the threat that they’re fighting in Fitz’s world (godlike beings, aliens) and therefore cannot hope to know the degree of necessity, but this is never an idea that will settle well in a mind so concerned with freedom, choice, and agency.

Lips thin, a frown more severe, words inlaid to reflect it. Eyes meet Fitz’s, and while he doesn’t doubt the other’s good intentions, it’s hard to mete out approval in his look.]


Creating a life, a brand-new consciousness, for the sake of pushing through a multitude of… hardships with the expectation of it having no affect on them. If only anything was ever that straightforward.

[But this is surely only a half-complete story.]

What happened after that?
saviorexe: (60)

[personal profile] saviorexe 2018-11-21 03:00 pm (UTC)(link)
[It warrants stopping just as they past the crest of the bridge. The words stilling even Markus’ step as he tries to imagine all that Fitz is telling him; he’s detailed in his explanation this time, providing context that might still be difficult for Markus to wrap his mind around if he tried to puzzle out the logistics overlong. But that was hardly the point — as his eyes skate over Fitz, measured clarification soon becomes weighted with emotion, body language starting to eke and bleed anxiety. A self-punishing gesture, as the wooden railing vibrates with the quick strike, and one idea rings poignantly in Markus’ mind above all others — guilt.

The stress of it being Fitz’s choice, after all, made that so very obvious.

And the idea of agency, of free will and the power of being able to choose that comes with it; Markus has hinged so much of that onto himself, pinned it to his body to let it inform every action and every word, that he gives this the right measure of thought before replying. This is a heavy, uneasy admission, with no direct line that shears down the middle of black and white, right versus wrong.

Yet one thing sticks in his thoughts like a bur, demanding clarification despite the looming issue of lives having been taken.]


It may have been your choice, but it was a choice wrought from circumstances that were… manipulative, Fitz. This reality, in the Framework, that was all couched in a lie.

[He’s quick to add, in a voice that’s lost its edge of reprisal-]

What you felt was real, is real, and yet surely you can see how your actions were pushed down a certain path by AIDA herself.

[Is he really bearing the brunt of all the blame?]

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